SOLO-LIVING

Table for One: Living Solo in a World Built for Two

On a Saturday evening as my roommate got dressed for a date-night with her boyfriend, I decided to take advantage of the rare clear sky in the West Coast of Ireland. As I walked into a charming little restaurant with romantic lighting and soft music playing in the background, the hostess asked me the loaded question – “Will you be dining alone tonight?”

Being a perpetually single individual, it wasn’t an entirely new experience for me, but I’d be lying if I said it didn’t sometimes leave me feeling lonely. Walking into the cosy dining room, I glanced at the couples enjoying their dates. From the affectionate touches a man placed on his beloved’s thigh, to the pair exchanging sweet nothings as their fingers interlocked over two glasses of wine – love was in the air.

And there I was, marching past these tables with my head held high, trying to conceal my sadness at the thought that I didn’t have anyone to share a romantic evening with.

In 2024, the “single and independent” woman is a force to be reckoned with. We have embraced a life of fulfilling friendships, careers, hobbies, and beloved pets that blow hot-and-cold. No longer is the “lonely cat lady” an insult to the entire sex as women have started prioritising self-love over unhealthy relationships, and realising that the lonely cat lady might have been the happiest of all. Yet, as the waitress grabbed the second set of cutlery and menu off the table, I wondered – Was I truly happy being single?

As a 23 year old single woman with moderately soul crushing anxiety, and a long list of insecurities, I tend to steer clear of social interactions. I spend most of my days wasting away in bed as I scroll through Instagram Reels. Now, I do feel guilty about wasting my life away as I laugh and cry at the videos on my phone, but Galway’s miserable weather is always a good excuse to use if you ever find yourself in a situation where you have to defend your choices. But, on the odd days I do leave my Lonely Heart Club HQ, of which I am president, I am always packing my Kindle like an American would carry a gun – It’s my weapon of choice after all. And as I use this mighty weapon as a shield to protect myself from making eye contact with strangers, I feel a false sense of security.

Dating in your 20s is proving to be an interesting experience, to say the least. In the decade where most people are trying to figure out their life goals, passions, and careers, adding dating to the mix is like mixing 4 different types of alcohol on a night out – it’s a questionable choice. I could have the best night of my life, or I could be passed out in the bathroom with my head on the toilet. Trying to juggle emotional hang-ups, jealousy from watching everyone around you fall in love, and disgust from the creeps on the dating apps that have a special kind of love for eggplants, is no small feat. Many have crumbled under the pressure before us.

I listen to my friends’ lecture about the benefits of “putting myself out there” and taking risks in my (non-existent) love life, and I wonder: Have the RomComs and novels been lying to me? Wasn’t my Prince Charming, or Mafia Biker supposed to bump into me in a crowded book store and immediately fall in love with me? Having to calm my rapidly beating heart and actually talking to strangers in a pub seemed like a big ask for finding true love, you know?

In a world built for couples, trying to live the #singlelife is kind of like riding a tandem bike by yourself—you’re doing all the work, steering on your own, and every so often, you feel the ghost of a partner who isn’t there, making you question why this setup exists in the first place.

Being single and battling loneliness often feels like a war we’re not entirely sure we signed up for—complete with emotional battles, existential crises, and the occasional defeat scrolling through Instagram proposal posts at 3 a.m. It’s exhausting, yes, but here’s the kicker: life doesn’t pause while we wait for our rom-com-worthy meet-cute. We owe it to ourselves to keep finding joy in the little things—whether it’s devouring an entire book in one sitting, shamelessly belting out Training Season in the shower, or spending an afternoon in a café, pretending you’re the protagonist of a movie. Love might be just around the corner, or it might take its sweet time showing up, but until then, we keep living, laughing, and occasionally crying into a pint of Ben & Jerry’s. And honestly? That’s pretty damn okay.